To Publish or Not To Publish

24 February 2005

It’s a good time for me to reflect on the past months of this my life, since signing a contract to have a book published in July 2003, and diarise a few notes (of course as a writer a few notes isn’t possible) about having a book published.

I started writing my stories in April 2002, never intending that they be anything more than a record for me of my ‘adventures’. I met online a man who told me he was a lecturer at Uni and also at TAFE, and two of his specialty teaching areas were literature and publishing. I told him a bit about my stories and he asked if he could read them. I wasn’t interested at first but then something motivated me to allow him to read a hard copy, in my presence; he managed to make me curious about finding out how bad or well I wrote, in his opinion.

He sat in my family room reading the rough drafts, straight out of my head, with no editing, and I sat in my study at the computer, watching him out of the corner of my eye. I saw the pages one by one passing from the left pile of unread, to the right pile of read, and guessed it couldn’t be too bad as he continued to read and appeared to read each page, not just skim through them. I amused myself online until he had finished reading, and then I joined him. He told me that I wrote exceptionally well, that the stories were interesting and would be of interest to a lot of readers. He encouraged me to work on the stories and to create a manuscript, as he was sure if I decided to try to publish it as a book I would find I had a huge success on my hands. After writing up a few notes to help me out, he left me with it.

All of this was fantasyland to me, and the thought of my private life being laid bare for the masses didn’t interest me either. But I came up with a plan whereby I thought I could have the best of both worlds, by using a pseudonym. I figured I could slip in and out of identities, and that my private life would remain just that, private. Once again I thought very seriously about having the story made public but very few people knew I was writing a book, and those online that did know I was writing a book about chat and online dating, in the main had never met me. That gave me a safety valve, a feeling that I could stand by as myself and watch this adventure unfold without too many people ever knowing that the writer was in fact me. Ahhh, the well laid plans of mice and men, and women that come unstuck.

My daughter asked if she could read the manuscript at a time when it was pretty messy with a lot of pages marked up in ink for editing. That was a hard one, letting my daughter read my story, but as she knew a lot about what I had written already, I guessed nothing much would shock her or surprise her. I was right! In spite of the messy reading, she actually enjoyed the story, and did in fact learn a few things she hadn’t known. I began working on the stories, and in a short while I had the makings of a manuscript; the story now had a beginning, a middle with chapters that flowed into each other, and an ending of sorts. Where I had originally written in the first person, I now changed the story to the third person, in line with the pseudonym. I called my working manuscript ‘Addicted to Chat’ and the story was about a woman called Erin. There was no ending, so I called the final chapter ‘The Aftermath’ which was my judgement, if you like, of the final manuscript once I had read it through as a book, with some additional fill-in information so readers weren’t left wondering about too much.

The decision was made to allow a number of online and other friends to read it as quite a few had asked over the months I was working on the manuscript if they could be my test readers, and I sat back and waited for responses. The feedback was so good I then had to make a final decision as to whether I was willing to let my life become an open book and take a punt and try to get it published. My lifetime dream, to write a book, was staring me in the face. After a lot of soul searching and finding courage, I decided to try my luck and chose the USA as my target market. Before I let go of the manuscript I changed the title to ‘Sex, Lies & Chat’ in line with comments from a friend who felt ‘Addicted to Chat’ wasn’t catchy enough.

So off sailed my submission to a publisher in the USA, only one. I couldn’t see myself taking more than one knock-back initially. To my extreme delight some weeks later, after agreeing to consider another title that didn’t include the word ‘sex’, I received congratulations by email from the publisher on being accepted, a contract to sign and copyright papers. Fluky. I knew that only 2% of manuscripts submitted ever get published, and I also knew that as a ‘newbie’ writer with no credentials, I stood very little chance of anyone even reading my work let alone wanting to publish it. But it happened, and I guess I was just lucky that I had written about a subject that was big news in the world and would become even bigger in the months to come - the world of online chat rooms and online dating.


Publishing – a dream or a nightmare?


Like most aspiring writers longing for a contract, I figured all I had to do was find a publisher that wanted my story, and then sit back and it would all happen. Wrong! The publisher sent me the ‘bible’ as I call it – they call it ‘The Author’s Handbook’. Some 80 plus pages of rules, regulations, expectations of me as an author, and a whole lot of other stuff I knew nothing at all about. The first read frightened me so much I went into a tailspin and quickly shoved the damned thing away where I didn’t have to look at it again. But it kept sending me messages that I had no alternative but to look, and read, and do the best I could to understand the things I had to do.

There was one more change to make, and that was even harder than the title change to Secrets, Lies & Chat, which I didn’t want to make. I knew from reading the ‘bible’ that if I used a pseudonym the publisher would not promote me as I didn’t exist, and there was a strong chance once others in the publishing world realised the author’s name was a pseudonym, very few would waste time reviewing the book. My ideas of remaining anonymous and enjoying the best of both worlds disappeared and I knew from that moment on my name was going to wear whatever came from the book, good or bad. I bit the bullet and asked for my name to appear on the manuscript.

So out came the ‘bible’ again and I started to mark up pages I needed to refer to and things I needed to do. It was all gobbleygook and confusing to me; I needed help big time. I decided the first and most important step was to make sure there were no libel issues in my story, as it was a true story. Although I moved everyone around Australia, used no nicknames with the exception of my own, and used no real names, there was still a chance of libel. I hired myself two legal firms to read the manuscript, and in line with the responses I received I made the necessary changes. I also decided to remove my nickname as it could perhaps tie people to me, and I didn’t want that to happen to anyone. My story was never about getting back at anyone, it’s just a story that I hope may help other people who will face the same options that I did, and through reading about my experiences, may save themselves some heartache.

Next step was to get myself an accountant and set up a business so I could sell the book online myself when the time came. I accomplished that without too much difficulty just a hit out of my pocket, and it gave me a new headache. I now had a company as well as having a full-time job. It seemed my little project that I expected to have nothing but fun with was becoming bigger than Ben Hur and worried the heck out of me. The company was broke so I had to loan it money and it owes me so much I could send it bankrupt lol. No money coming into it, just going out (and all of it borrowed from me). At least it gives me a giggle now and then and I leave most of the bookwork to my accountant, which in turn costs me too, but oh what the heck, you can’t take it with you.

The editing process was well underway by this time and was a slog when I work full-time too. I had so many other bits to the book to provide that I didn’t think about and didn’t have a clue how to get some of them done. However I muddled my way through and finally had all the bits I was supposed to find added to the manuscript.

After anguishing about how I could do all that was required, I cam to the conclusion that I needed an agent in Australia, and one in the USA, so I set about surfing the net for some contacts. Most of the companies I wrote to weren’t interested, and I must admit I went down the wrong track as well by contacting literary agents. Someone steered me in that direction incorrectly. I already had a contract, so a literary agent wasn’t what I needed. I started surfing looking for a PR agent; again most I wrote to weren’t interested, didn’t want any extra clients. I was disappointed because I gathered what they were really saying was I wasn’t a good option for their businesses. Then I stumbled upon an interesting website, Mediaman Australia. I hit the contact link and wrote an email to Greg Tingle, Director of Mediaman Australia. I liked his profile, I could see he was a go-getter and I wanted someone to go get me. I waited for a reply thinking probably there wouldn’t be one, but fairly quickly into my mailbox came Greg, enthusiastic, but wary of course. I liked his style and I wanted to meet him and discuss the possibility of him taking me on as a client. The meeting was set up and I met Greg and his partner in life and business at that time, Yvette. The moment I sat down with them I knew I was on a winner, whether the book fired or not, these two people knew my subject matter and were keenly interested in reading my manuscript. To cut a long story short, they agreed to act on my behalf for my entire PR work in Australia, and we began to create a working relationship. And created more confusion for my muddled brain.

During all this I was still online in chat and had registered my own chat room where I could retreat to and work on top of the chat room and listen to my music. I spent time with friends if anyone dropped by, or if I needed a break I would visit some of the other rooms. I admit to being totally addicted to chat then, and being online during my leisure time at home was like other people who turn the TV on as soon as they hit home after work. Chat now, in February 2005, has lost its lustre, and my addiction has gone, along with most of my ‘old’ chat mates. The chat scene has changed so much it’s not what I’m about. Or maybe it’s me who had changed with new interests that are much more stimulating than a chat room. I still hang out in chat, in my room, with my loving friend Bryan. We live about 12 hours drive time apart from each other so visits are not that frequent. But we have a life together online where we swap ideas, help each other out emotionally, and feel a lot less lonely in this big old world of lonely people.

Back to publishing. I thought I had jumped over most of the initial hurdles and things would get better, but the more I read through the ‘bible’ the more I understood and the more I knew I still had to accomplish. I bit the bullet and got stuck into what I had to do in the best way I could, as a novice, to all of it. I started out by pinching a few ideas from a friend of mine on funny stories he told me, and I wrote some short stories. I had a wonderful time writing them as it was my first adventure into fiction, and I surprised myself at how easily I could make up a story around a story. I was actually there as I wrote, like my real story that I lived again as I wrote it. Writing those stories and another true life one about my life, gave me the courage to try my hand at articles. I wrote about issues I was interested in, and I now have them published online which I’m pretty proud of. I also had the opportunity to have a story about myself published in my department’s newspaper, and that made me proud too. Then I received word about an article on the Internet that was going to appear in the Sydney Morning Herald, and I was asked if I would like to be part of it. So I gained two paragraphs of exposure in that article, another step in doing what I was expected to by the publisher.

It’s not easy dealing with publishers, most of the time I feel like I really have nothing much to do with my book at all, like it’s all been taken out of my hands and I’ve been sent to the corner to wait out my sentence. Of course they expect while they are doing their part I am doing all the other parts. They aren’t big on corresponding and you are told in the ‘bible’ to restrict correspondence, as you will annoy them. Hard ask when you have achieved something pretty big in your life to suddenly let it go to strangers who have no idea about the feelings that went into the story they see as just another book. But I’m learning patience; I have no alternative.

The editing process was arduous and took many months longer than it should have because of issues with my editor. The issues were hers, not mine, and should never have impacted on our working relationship or the editing process. However they did, and no one else cared or bothered to ask why the editing was taking so long in spite of my pleas for help. I must add that finally my pleas did bring action, but not until I was at the point of saying ‘forget it, I don’t need or want this anymore’.

I have had the most frustrating 19 months of my life having this book published, and so far I have spent in excess of $30K on it. I am still today trying to arrange for 700 of 1000 books I paid for the first week in December to be shipped out to me from the US. I don’t remember ever paying out $13K to someone and three months later I still don’t have what I paid for. And yet this is how it works. You want books printed, then you pay before the printer starts work, and they work to their own timetable, not yours. 300 of the review only books have gone to my agent in the USA for distribution to reviewers.

Other people in the publishing group had a copy of my book before I did. I was told early December my copy would be sent to me within days; I received two books late January with apologies about the first book going astray. I doubt that very much as prior to the book arriving, I received an email requesting that I take a good look at it and let the contact know if I was happy with it or not asap so printing could go ahead of my 1000 books. Now, if the first book had been sent all those weeks earlier, one would assume the contact would have been chasing me for my comments. It never happened.

One thing about it, if I ever write another book I will know all about the process and what I’m going to be up for regards my input. I never really thought about all of this, I just thought all I had to do was write, the rest would be done for me. Big mistake. I’m considering writing a plain English guide to having a book published for novices like me so their roads may be a lot easier and they will know upfront, if they read my book, just what is in store for them.

Food for thought.